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30 things NOT to do in Mumbai!

Dailybhaskar.com  
“Ae dil hai mushkil jeena yaha, zara hatke ,zara bach key yeh hai Bombai meri jaan.” 
 
Remember this couplet from the movie C.I.D.  Those who reside in Mumbai or have visited the city will agree with the lyrics of the song.
 
Mumbai, the city of dreams has generously housed millions of people who travel far and wide to fulfill their hopes and dreams.
 
A popular blog, bombaylives.com has come up with very hilarious yet helpful pointers to survive in the city which never sleeps.
 
Here are 20 things which you should keep in mind when you visit Mumbai.
 
1.     Get into a Virar train if you are going to Borivali
2.     Take Taxis outside Dadar & Kurla stations, all are chors.
3.     Eat Bhel at Kailash Parbat
4.     Call a cop ‘Pandu’
5.     Argue with a Koli Fisherwoman
6.     Get a 11 Rupee massage at Girgaum Chowpatty
7.     Call a BEST bus driver ‘Bablia’
8.     Buy enhancement medicines from Van – Travelling Hakims who are the desi versions      of the flying doctors
9.     Look smart while visiting Chor Bazaar
10.  Ask the Sandwich wallah on Dalal Street for market tips
11.  Stand in front of Amitabh/shahrukh/salmaan’s house — u look stupid and its waste of time
12.  Baba Bengalis are neither Baba’s or Bengalis they are all perverts and thugs
13.  Visit sleazy Video Parlours and get caught in a raid
14.  Get excited and start jumping when someone offers you Paanch ka Dollar, it’s just a tiny 5 Rupee coin
15.  Go for a Shiv Sena rally in hope for a Free Vada Pav and Shiv Sena Banian
16.  Stare at Koli Women in Gorai and Make fun of Kolis in their Kasti
17.  While commuting don’t tease people shitting near the tracks, they throw stones back at the train
18.  Hang outside the train, Poles might hit you before the crowds will.
19.  Tease a Hijra.
20.  Bribe a Porter to grab a seat in V.T, chances are he might run off with your money and even beat you.
21.  Get conned at Fountain from Guys selling cheap Mobiles, they mesmerize and wrap soap bars.
22.  Say Hello to pimps behinds Mondegar & Pasta Lanes.
23.  Donate money to the Crying Cab driver, he has conned thousands.
24.  Invite Brass Polishwalas into your house
25.  Sit for more than 20 mins extra at an Irani Café, the Bawa owner might shout some                                                                                             sister abuses.
26.  Drink Neera at 5 pm at Dadar Station
27.  Have lassi outside Dadar Station (west), they add Tissue Paper while preparing it
28.  Throw stones at monkeys in Borivali National Park
29.  Loiter around in Shivaji Park on Dec 6th.
30.  Ask for a bargain at the Maharastrian Cloth store in Dadar.
 
 
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