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Movie Review: Grand Masti - neither grand, nor mast

  • Mayank Shekhar
  • Sep 13, 2013, 14:08 PM IST
Movie Review: Grand Masti - neither grand, nor mast
+7

Movie: Grand Masti
Main star cast:Aftab Shivdasani, Viveik Oberoi, Riteish Deshmukh, Kainaat Arora, Sonali Kulkarni, Karishma Tanna, Manjari Phadnis
Director:Indra Kumar
Producer: Indra Kumar, Ashok Thakeria
Critic Rating: *

 

Ideally, a film like this cannot be dignified with a review. Let me graphically describe the first scene still so you can sense the pointlessness of detailing any further. The three gentlemen in this movie, who it seems graduated straight from kindergarten into college, start out by lecturing students about how they had been taught their alphabets wrong. That A’s not for apple, it stands for... This is when the camera starts following women’s bums (or arses). Likewise B is for, now you see tight close-ups of several women’s b*****s. And C is for, they don’t say what, but obviously imply the organ they’ve come out from. D is for dil-se, which is how these boys closely study these human parts, hoping to get to F, and you know what F stands for. In the same scene, a busty woman in a bikini slowly wipes ice-cream off her cleavage in a fountain, the water from the sprinkler rises up at the sight.

 

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    Movie Review: Grand Masti - neither grand, nor mast

    Now, let’s not get prudish. This humour was meant to be lewd. The film’s genre was always known to us. We knew the movie would be loaded with double meaning jokes. The issue is that a whole lot of the movie’s gags — if you can even call them that – have, if at all, only one meaning. In which case, we’re not really watching a sex comedy now, are we. Male private parts aren’t spared either as they literally stand in ovation, are fondled with, or pushed up with a suction pump. You don’t really get grossed out by it, which may have been the point. You just stop laughing. Something this direct, obvious and explicit is not even a cheap joke, definitely not even in the ‘desi daddy of this genre’ Dada Khonke’s dictionary.

     

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    Movie Review: Grand Masti - neither grand, nor mast

    So is this really a movie for adults? Hopefully they have access to real sex either in movies or in life. And if they are truly sexually repressed, along with 14 or 15-year-olds (who aren’t supposed to be in the theatre), they might giggle at pixilated shots of nude men or continuous references to male or female genitalia. The laughs I guess won’t be for the humour, but for the sheer audacity of some of the spoken words. Indian movies, much like the society they represent, have remained sexually frustrated for generations. For some, giggle becomes then a natural response to random explicit material on screen.

     

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    Movie Review: Grand Masti - neither grand, nor mast

    At least half my row in the theatre had already left at the interval though. One is often advised to leave your brains behind for a film like this. I don’t know how that’s physically possible, but it is still the only way to ensure your IQ doesn’t drop to negative when you’re done with the movie. 

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    Movie Review: Grand Masti - neither grand, nor mast

    Yet, Masti, I remember, was a lot of fun. This is supposedly its sequel. That one even had a story. This has none. You see three married guys go back to their college for a weekend reunion. They meet no old classmates, only three desperate porn-star types — the college principal’s wife, his daughter and his sister — who are dying to somehow dance and sleep with these dolts. These guys briefly get into trouble for it. Their wives pay them a surprise visit as well. They fully mend their ways. The movie carries on for a good half hour still.

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    Movie Review: Grand Masti - neither grand, nor mast

    Okay, these women from the principal’s family have amusing names, if you may. They are called Rose, Mary and Marlowe. The screenwriters love this joke as they do everything else they’ve written so far, because they keep repeating them anyway. So we hear: Mary, Rose, Marlowe; Marlowe Mary Rose...


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  • 7 of 7
    Movie Review: Grand Masti - neither grand, nor mast

    I don’t know about rose or roz (daily). But I hope nobody’s brains are taxed this badly too soon. 

     

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