Feeling stressed? Take a break and read some hilarious jokes that will uplift your mood.
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Little Johnny and Lil Suzie were arguing over whose parents are better.
Johnny said, “My dad’s better than your dad.”
Suzie said, “Well, my mom is better than your mom.”
Johnny paused, “I guess you’re right. My dad says the same thing!”
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Little Johnny's first grade class was playing “Name That Animal.” The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, “What animal is this?”
“A cat!” said Suzy.
“Good job. Now, what's this animal?”
“A dog!” said Ricky.
“Good. Now what animal is this?” she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.
The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, “It's what your mom calls your dad.”
“I know!” called out Little Johnny. “A horny ba****d!”
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Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.
“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother.
“He thinks a lot,” replied his mother pleased with her for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.
Johnny thought for a second and asked, “So why do you have so much hair?”
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A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.
The girl approached the boy and said, “Hey Johnny, do you want play house?”
Little Johnny replied, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”
The girl said, “I want you to communicate your feelings.”
“Communicate my feelings?” said a bewildered Little Johnny. “I have no idea what that means.”
The little girl smirked and said, “Perfect. You can be the husband.”
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The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he said. “My dad taught me.”
“Good! Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four,” answers little Johnny.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven,” Johnny replied.
“Very good,” said the teacher. “Your father did a good job. What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” said little Johnny.
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